Yes. They hide it well.
Yes. They hide it well. When they start accepting themselves for who they are, that’s it, there’s no going back. As a community we accept and tolerate it, but don’t support it. They are in conflict, because it is our culture vs. American culture. It’s a problem because in America, we are living in a no-sin zone; everything is acceptable. It can also be the “nature vs. nurture” philosophy: the biological perspective vs. the environment, and/or society’s impact on the person. Iman Numan, 50 West Bloomfield No I don’t know of anyone, but on online chats or blogs, people aren’t afraid to come out. They’re open. I don’t believe that it’s right but because we’re in America, they have the freedom to practice it. Rafed White, 26 West Bloomfield Yes I do. Not just regarding the gay community, but it’s hard to be different in the Chaldean community in general. Because of our culture, it’s hard to accept someone outside of the norm, especially from the mindset of the older generation. It’s common from a Middle-Eastern mindset to discredit someone for something small, even if they are involved, and give back to our church and our community. In order for people to accept me as a person, I have to accept them first. Lawrence Mansour, 19 Utica Yes I do. I would like to take the position of the church. The Catholic Church teaches us that all human beings are created in the image and likeness of God; therefore, we should love all people regardless of their lifestyle. However, a practicing homosexual is living in sin, and here I emphasize a practicing one, not the person with inclinations only. The church encourages them to seek help, and we as community members should receive them with love and remember Christ’s teaching to love the sinner but hate the sin. Karam Bahnam, 35 Orchard Lake Village No, I don’t. I believe it’s important to always be in line with the teachings of the Catholic Church; that’s the first priority. I’m not in a position to judge a person, but to love them as a brother or sister of Christ. Veronica Kassab, 22 Rochester Hills Iman Numan Rafed White Lawrence Mansour Karam Bahnam Veronica Kassab CULTURAL CONTRADICTION continued from page 31 community. They started a non-profit organization called Al GAMEA, the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender) Association of Middle- Eastern Americans. “Al GAMEA is an organization that strives to create a forum for support, socialization, education and awareness, in an area that’s home to the largest and most visible Middle Eastern community in the country, and to expand internationally via the World Wide Web,” says the group’s website (www.algamea.org). “In the end our goal is quite simply to let people know, we are Middle Eastern. We may be Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and/or Transgender, but we are proud, and we do exist.” Through AL GAMEA, Tony has met about 150 gay Chaldeans. About 15 percent of them are women; Tony said they have an especially hard time because there is a greater expectation to get married and have children the “natural” way. This kinship of gay Chaldeans makes Tony and his friends want to do something that has never been done before: “educate the churches about who we are.” But, because the group does not promote chastity, it does not follow the tenets of the Catholic Church. Fr. Frank said trying to educate the Church would be detrimental to gay Chaldeans because it does not promote what is right, but goes with emotions and feelings. Homosexuality is a moral absolute, said Fr. Frank, which means that all homosexual acts are wrong and sinful. When people engage in these acts, they are morally killing themselves, he said. Tony takes issue with that approach. “We are pretending there are no gay Chaldeans,” he said, “We don’t create a safe environment for gays. They’re living double lives because they don’t want to admit it.” Being Catholic and Chaldean has added an extra dynamic to being gay. Tony said he has been examining his faith for quite some time. The former altar boy said he “no longer feels comfortable calling myself a Catholic.” Tony has felt shunned while listening to homilies that denounce homosexuality and said a lot of the teachings are hypocritical. While he maintains his Christianity, Tony is looking into other denominations. “Other churches have embraced their people,” he said, “but not our Church.” While the Catholic Church does not recognize or dispute any scientific reason why a person is gay, it calls homosexuals to chastity in order to “fulfill God’s will in their lives and … to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition” (2358). Now 23, Tony continues to live separately from his family. His relationship with his parents is unstable but he continues to try and build bridges with them. He maintains close relationships with his siblings. “Gay people want to feel accepted, just like straight people,” he said. “Just understand that I’m gay. Respect that.” The Catechism says that gays “must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided” (2358). Tony’s friend “Amanda,” who also requested anonymity, agrees with that notion. Amanda is a college student in her early 20s who realized she was a little “different” in elementary school. In her late teens, she came out to some members of her family whom she thought would be supportive and accepting, and they have been. She suspects that her parents know but are in denial – they never speak of it. “It’s difficult,” she said, “to hide who you are in front of people who are closest to you.” Amanda lost her best friend after she heard the news (she has since apologized) but made new friends in college. Her diverse group of friends includes Chaldean girls who are liberal and open-minded — and some are gay — yet feel a sense of duty to protect their families from hearsay and gossip. “We all agree that being Chaldean makes it harder on us,” said Amanda. “We live in a small community and it’s hard to break free from that.” Although she was raised a Catholic, Amanda never attended church much. She just recently learned more about the faith and believes it is beautiful. However, she rejects the Church’s stance on homosexuality as written in the Catechism. “It’s not the word of God to me,” she said. “I have my own views.” Amanda believes that being a lesbian is merely a different lifestyle and that gays are used as a scapegoat for society’s bigger problems. She compared today’s gay issues to the civil rights matters of the 1960s. People, she said, fear change. “There is a gay Chaldean community,” she said. “We’re like everybody else. We’re inhabiting the same world.” Fr. Frank said Catholics must recognize homosexuals as human beings. This is especially difficult in familial situations, particularly in the Chaldean community. But, Fr. Frank said, parents should put limits on relationships with their children who engage in homosexual acts. His advice: “They are your children. Love them but also lead them to God.” Amanda wants parents to understand that their children cannot help their homosexuality. “Don’t make their lives harder,” she said. “The fear — and the reality — is even more to handle.” Although she has yet to admit her sexual orientation to her parents, Amanda said she’d like to live an honest life like her friend Tony. “I identify as a gay Iraqi-Chaldean-Assyrian- American-Christian,” said Tony. “I’m very proud of who I am.” 32 CHALDEAN NEWS SEPTEMBER 2008
GUEST column Homosexuality: Nature or nurture? Is being homosexual a choice or biological? Are people “born that way” or “conditioned that way?” There is no clear cut answer. Homosexuality is a complex phenomenon. Some researchers indicate biological factors have a direct influence on sexual orientation. These include genes, brain wiring and the prenatal hormonal environment. Other researchers say that society, temperament and environment also influence gay and lesbian identities. Environmental factors include influence of parents, peers and experiences. They may also include experiences of sexual abuse or other traumatic events as well as a disruption in gender identity development. Among researchers and even among homosexual people, there are conflicting and varying opinions. There are some who admit their orientation to be a preference and therefore a choice while others feel they have no control. What is sexual orientation? The American Psychological Association (APA) defines it as an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual or affectional attraction to individuals of a particular gender. Biological sex refers to chromosomes and sexual organs, gender identity to the psychological sense of being male or female, and social sex role to adherence to cultural norms for feminine and masculine behavior. Three sexual orientations are commonly recognized: “homosexual,” which is attraction to individuals of one’s own gender; “heterosexual,” defined as attraction to individuals of the other gender; or “bisexual,” which means attractions to members of either gender. Sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior because it refers to feelings and self-concept. Persons may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviors. Those who believe homosexuality is biological believe it cannot be changed. That would mean that we are nothing more than our genes and that we are responsibility-free regarding our behaviors. There is also research that individuals wishing to be free from those tendencies recovered from them in psychotherapy. Reorientation and/or reparative therapies assist those who wish to explore developing their heterosexual potential and minimizing their IKLAS BASHI SPECIAL TO THE CHALDEAN NEWS unwanted homosexual attractions. In 1997, though, the APA took a stance against therapy that seeks to turn gays from their sexual orientations. The group issued a statement suggesting that attempts to turn homosexuals straight may be harmful. Psychotherapy is the process in which we seek the truth about who we are, where we’ve been and why we do the things we do. It is also a process in which we seek healing of the emotional and psychological wounds we have suffered. Although exploring feelings is an important part of the therapy process, there has been too much emphasis on our feelings and not nearly enough about using reason and prudence as guides for self-direction. Of all created things, God gave human persons the capacity to reason. Feelings are influenced by external circumstances. If we act merely on feelings, they are likely to change from moment to moment and day to day. The Courage Apostolate (http://couragerc.net) is a spiritual support system that assists men and women with same-sex attractions in living chaste lives in fellowship, truth and love. Their website includes testimonies of men and women from all over the world who felt they had been suffering in their homosexuality and found healing. Perhaps we don’t have all the answers regarding the issue of homosexuality. One thing is certain, though, in light of our Catholic Chaldean faith. If we turn to the Way, the Truth, and the Life and participate fully and regularly in the Sacraments, He will continually renew us through the power of the Holy Spirit. Finding out where we fit in the scheme of things is a universal human struggle. Our hope is in the One who created us. It is through Him and in Him that we find our true identity. Iklas Bashi is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a National Certified Counselor who uses a holistic approach to therapy integrating the mental, spiritual, emotional and physical self to help clients experience healing, especially in affective disorders (depression, anxiety) and marriage and family problems. Contact iklasbashi@sbcglobal.net. SEPTEMBER 2008 CHALDEAN NEWS 33
