ESSAYS My Missing
ESSAYS My Missing Reflection BY SOPHIA SNELL The story of how my parents met, fell in love, and got married is like the storyline of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” My mom is Chaldean, the daughter of two immigrants, and was taking classes at Oakland University, at a time when people like her were still in the minority at the college. It’s where she met my dad, who is white and had parents who didn’t know what hummus was and thought their people invented baklava. (My dad took it to a cultural lunch event when he was a kid. Needless to say, he misrepresented his culture). They eventually fell in love, got married with a very Chaldean wedding, (complete with the band, the halhole, the works) and had me, a Chaldean-American girl. Growing up, my parents raised me in an American way, but as I started to get older, my mom introduced me to more and more parts of my culture, and I embraced it whole-heartedly. I’m proud to call myself Chaldean, and I hope that sentiment never changes. But when we all sit down at the table together with our plates filled with yellow rice, shawarma, and dolma, there’s a missing spot on our plates. It creates a hunger that can’t be quieted by home-cooked meals: My people have been starving for representation. When I stare into the pages of a book or the bright TV screen, I don’t see my reflection staring back at me. Whenever writers create stories about Arab- Americans, they usually write about Muslims. What I need to clarify is that that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s good that Muslim-Americans are getting the representation that they’re starving for, but that doesn’t leave anything on our plates for us. After 9/11, writers have been trying their best to extinguish the stereotype that all Arab-Americans are terrorists, but they’ve unintentionally been fueling the flames of a different stereotype: All Arabs are Muslim. Until they realize the cultural harm they are doing by only focusing on Muslim-American stories, nobody in my beautiful culture will ever get to see themselves reflected in books and TV shows. To them, I ask: Where are our stories? Where are the stories like those of my grandparents, who lived in Iraq and had similar magical, innocent childhoods, experienced similar immigration processes and somehow met each other in this big and dreambuilding country they now call home? Where are the stories like that of my great grandma, who taught herself English on her own by meticulously reading through elementary school workbooks day and night? Where are the stories like that of my mom, who grew up mispronouncing words because her parents didn’t understand certain English phrases and who took it all in stride when her friends corrected her, laughing at herself, owning her mistakes? Where are stories like that of my own, a girl born with lighter skin than most in her family, causing her to not experience the worst of humanity because she doesn’t look like what most people think of when they think of an Arab-American girl, who’s just starving for representation for herself and for her beautiful culture that deserves to be put on a pedestal for all to see? Where are those stories? The truth is, I already know. They are hidden inside every writer, buried under ignorance, either unintended or not. All it takes is an essay like this, reaching out, spreading the message far and wide like a wake-up call, that gives them the inspiration they need, yet always had deep down inside them. But until they hear that wake-up call, I’m not going to wait. Page by page, rewrite by rewrite, I’ll write my story, our story, for all of us to see our reflections in. Chaldean American Values BY CHRISTINE SHARRAK As I am writing this piece, I am simultaneously sitting in my room watching my parents’ wedding video. It took weeks for me to reach this moment. I spent a good chunk of the last month attempting to convert AV to HDMI so that I could experience these cherished moments that I was, unfortunately, unable to live through. Throughout my childhood, I watched this video at least once a month. I’ve always had a deep desire to revisit memories from my early years and even those preceding my birth. To me, these years encapsulate the essence of what it meant to be a Chaldean in America. My parents didn’t have a lot but they still managed to make the most out of their wedding. Rather than driving from his wedding in a limo, my father drove away in his blue SUV, with a license plate that read “PicPac,” which was the name of the first store he ever owned. My mother was unable to see her parents on her wedding day because they were still in Iraq. Nevertheless, they are visibly enjoying their time despite not having a lot of things or all the people they love and cherish around them. While I am certainly familiar with the stories behind these photos and videos, I know for a fact that even without this intimate knowledge I could discern, with the utmost certainty, that the people in these pictures and videos were Chaldean Americans—they made the most out of what they had. When I delve into these memories, it is almost bittersweet because I always end up asking myself the same question: “If the children of future generations were to look back at what the Chaldean community is doing today, would they think that we too encapsulate the essence of what it means to be Chaldean American?” This is the question I hope to answer today. First and foremost, to answer this question, it is necessary to ask another one: “What does it mean to be Chaldean American?” At the end of the documentary Chaldeans in America: Our Story, the narrator says something that I feel captures what it means to be a Chaldean American: “Hope. Faith. Work. Family. This is the Chaldean community.” While I firmly believe that these values are still displayed throughout our community today, there is no doubt that some of these values are diminishing to a certain extent. It is important to identify what is causing these values to diminish to ensure that future generations can remember the principles of those who came before them. The first value I would like to focus on is that of work. The Chaldean community was built on the entrepreneurial spirit. From Mesopotamia to America, Chaldeans have always been go-getters. Like many other Chaldeans, my parents sacrificed a lot for me to be where I am today. Because of their sacrifice and the grace of God, I can attend university to become whatever I desire to be, not what my parents want me to be; which leads me to the main point of this paragraph. As far back as I could remember my parents always told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be; If I told them I wanted to be an astronaut they would simply tell me to reach for the stars. Of course, there are times when I hear the phrase “You would make a great attorney,” yet they have never stepped on my toes and forced me into anything. In our community today, the youth are pressured by their parents to do great things, but the professions they are pressured to take on are not even something they are necessarily passionate about. If this trend continues, we will see the hardworking spirit of Chaldeans fade into a thing of the past. After all, one cannot work hard if one is not passionate about their work. The older generation must encourage the younger generation to do what they love. We have plenty of Chaldean doctors, lawyers, and engineers; that is great, but I hope that there will come a day when we 38 CHALDEAN NEWS JANUARY 2024
“H H H H H UNMISSABLE AND UNFORGETTABLE.” FEBRUARY 20-25 FISHER THEATRE / BROADWAYINDETROIT.COM GROUPS (10+) BROADWAYINDETROITGROUPS@THEAMBASSADORS.COM (SUBJECT: PRETTY WOMEN) RICHARD THOMAS is ATTICUS FINCH in HARPER LEE’S TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD A new play by AARON SORKIN Directed by BARTLETT SHER MARCH 5-17 • FISHER THEATRE BroadwayInDetroit.com see an abundance of Chaldean artists, journalists, and musicians, because passion is what will help keep our values of hard work alive. The second value I would like to focus on is family. The Chaldean community was built on the premise that “It takes a village to raise a child.” The structure of our families has always been relevant to the success of those within our community. We take care of each other and each one of us would lay down our lives for our family, although this structure is beginning to diminish today. Pride has run rampant throughout our community and is affecting our families every day. Shockingly, a community that was built on putting family first is starting to lose these values. To keep our families stable we must put down our pride and remember that family is the most important thing we have in this world. Blood is thicker than water—our family should always come first. It is within our own families that we gain our sense of self and learn to rely on people who will always be there for us. When the children of future generations look back at our community, I want them to remember us for keeping our families together in the face of hardship. This humility will truly give strength to our community. We have all heard the phrase “Faith moves mountains.” If I could give any motto to the Chaldean community, it would be that. Faith and hope are trust; trust in ourselves and above all, something greater than us. Because of our faith, our community has had unfathomable success. Without faith and hope our community would never find strength in the face of adversity; that is how one knows that these are the values we continue to hold closest to our hearts. Our community has faced a lot of hardship, but we have always come back stronger. It is important to keep these values near and dear to us because the world is changing negatively—and although it is silent, our community is facing more adversity than ever before. The world has no appreciation for our faith. When the children of future generations look back on our current community, I hope they commend us for remaining inviolable in our values of faith and hope. There is no community that even comes close to the Chaldean community. Our successes and triumphs will be remembered by future generations, but these are not the only things we should want to be remembered for. Our success is admirable, but it is not the most important thing about our community. Our community should be remembered for our strong values and beliefs. True strength and success come from faith, hope, and love, and we can only keep these values by keeping our family and our values of hard work and faith in God at the forefront of our community. JANUARY 2024 CHALDEAN NEWS 39
