WEDDING GUIDE Matthew
WEDDING GUIDE Matthew and Olivia Anton met through the Chaldean matchmaker Olivia Asfar. Looking for Love Inside the Chaldean matchmaker service MATCHaldean BY CAL ABBO When Matthew and Olivia Anton first met, it was no chance encounter. Matthew had been in Detroit for less than a year; Olivia had moved from Florida three years before to the day. Their first date was a setup by Matthew’s cousin, Olivia Asfar, who is now the owner and operator of MATCHaldean. When Olivia Asfar took over the confidential dating service, she had already been a matchmaker for several years. Asfar is a trained psychologist with classroom experience in family, marriage, and relationship counseling. “I didn’t even know there was a service for it,” she said. “I didn’t know it could be a business.” Asfar got her start as an amateur matchmaker, using her vast network of Chaldeans to find perfect matches for her family and friends. “I always matched people on my own,” she said. “I had a list in my phone, and people would call me asking to find a match.” Asfar only acquired the business a few years ago. Before her, Theresa Dabish Sitto, the company’s founder, managed the service. In 2009, according to Asfar, Sitto was watching a matchmaker show with her son when she came up with the idea. Sitto knew the Chaldean community all too well and decided her service would focus on confidentiality. Since then, MATCHaldean has taken off, gaining hundreds of clients and matching over 100 marriages. As Sitto got older, she wanted to sell the business, and began looking especially for someone younger. That’s when she met Asfar, who quickly fit in with the style and workflow of the company. Asfar was already an expert matchmaker. She shadowed Sitto for a few months, learning how she conducted interviews and new matching techniques. Finally, in April 2019, Asfar took over. While Asfar learned a lot from Sitto, she also made some important changes to the business structure. She transferred all of the MATCHaldean client files, which Sitto kept in large binders, to a secure database. She also brought on some extra help. Now a small team of matchmakers helps each client find who they’re looking for. After marrying her Asfar-approved match, Olivia Anton joined the company to help with design, marketing, and matchmaking. “It’s hard to date in the community freely without bumping into someone you know,” Anton said. “Having the matchmakers and knowing that your identity is kept in confidence helps when putting yourself out there to find love.” MATCHaldean has a free application on its website. Asfar said she gets around one application per day; at the moment, the service has a database numbering around 700 people. After an application comes in, Asfar conducts a phone interview to get to know the client and find out what they’re looking for. She already has potential matches in her head before she hangs up. Olivia Asfar and Theresa Sitto on the set of Keeping Up with the Chaldeans. Asfar gets every request under the sun, she said. Some of her clients came from Iraq earlier this year; others were born and raised in Detroit. She has clients ranging from 18 to 70 years old. She has divorced clients, even ones with children, from cities like Chicago, San Diego, and Detroit. She matches them all. When Asfar wants to move forward with a match, she calls the lucky couple separately to tell them about their opposite without breaking confidentiality. Once she has their approval, she works with both of their schedules and makes a reservation. Her clients will enjoy a blind date, then tell Olivia later how it went. “I do all the work,” she said. “The guys love it because we do everything. I tell them all about the girl. I make the reservation. I do all the work and they just show up.” A lot of Asfar’s recent engagements were first matches, but sometimes it does take another try. Patience is key, according to Asfar, and you have to be willing to give someone a chance. “I always tell people to use the three-date rule. You never know,” she said. “You have to be open-minded. You aren’t perfect and neither are they.” A lot of women go on dates expecting a fairytale love story, Asfar said, but that’s not really how it works. As someone who works behind the scenes, Asfar knows how far a good match can go. “I feel like love grows over time. It’s not going to be on the first date,” she said. “If I based my husband off our first date, I wouldn’t be married right now.” Both Anton and Asfar agree that the service is much better than trendy dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. On dating apps, nobody ponders your profile to try and match you with someone. There is very little security when you join and go on dates and people can post fake information. MATCHaldean’s service focuses on long-term happiness. Asfar does not tolerate impolite behavior and will kick people off the service if they treat another client poorly. Her unique position as matchmaker allows her to screen everyone so that nobody gets played and everyone treats each other with respect, she said. “That’s not something you get with dating apps.” That said, the service is not for everyone. Her focus is preserving the Chaldean community and its culture by making it easier for Chaldeans to meet and marry. Casual daters apply from time to time, she said, and she often tells them that MATCHaldean might not be right for them. Asfar’s pitch to those who hesitate is this: it’s free to apply, and it’s harder than ever to meet new people. “Nobody will know you’re on there, and you aren’t forced to go out with anyone after I describe them to you,” she said. “You’re in complete control.” 30 CHALDEAN NEWS FEBRUARY 2022
CHALDEAN COMMUNITY FOUNDATION Help Wanted? Please consider investing in one of our many new Americans. HOW WE HELP: The Career Services Team at the Chaldean Community Foundation offers one-on-one assistance to help individuals identify their goals and develop their careers. SERVICES INCLUDE: • Resume Building and Cover Letter Writing • Job Application Completion • FAFSA Completion • Mock Interviews • Employer Referrals • Training Opportunities • Career Fairs • Access to Transportation via the Michael J George Chaldean Loan Fund To inquire about hiring one of our clients and having your business added to our job bank, please call or email Elias at 586-722-7253 or elias.kattoula@chaldeanfoundation.org CHALDEAN AMERICAN CHAMBER OF COMMERCE CHALDEAN COMMUNITY FOUNDATION 3601 15 MILE ROAD, STERLING HEIGHTS, MI 48310 586-722-7253 CHALDEANFOUNDATION.ORG
