WEDDING GUIDE A Christ-
WEDDING GUIDE A Christ- Centered Union: Marriage Prep Amplified BY CRYSTAL KASSAB JABIRO 28 CHALDEAN NEWS FEBRUARY 2022
Pope Francis recently penned a Letter to Married Couples in which he professed, “It is important that, together, you keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Only in this way, will you find peace, overcome conflicts, and discover solutions to many of your problems.” Decades ago, His Excellency Bishop Ibrahim Ibrahim, Father Stephen Kallabat, and licensed clinical social worker Janan Senawi began a program to prepare couples for the sacrament of marriage. Churches across the diocese set different expectations of what those classes looked like, so not every couple in the community got the same experience. While it effectively fulfilled a spiritual requirement, the priests and the laity recognized a need to amplify the Church’s marriage classes, especially in a country with a high divorce rate and within a small community that is seeing more divorces than ever. So, ten couples got together at the Eastern Catholic Re-Evangelization Center (ECRC) to create a vision of what they wished they had learned prior to getting married. Building upon the foundation created by their respected predecessors, they intensified the marriage prep program to include not only the religious aspect of marriage, but also the social aspect. The nitty-gritty. The real stuff. And how Christ at the center of marriage and family will lead you to communicate productively and resolve conflicts in a peaceful way. Father Pierre Konja, pastor at St. Thomas Chaldean Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, was heavily involved in a consultative way at those initial meetings at ECRC. Father Pierre notes that since Saint Pope John Paul II, the Catholic Church has encouraged lay ministry. These volunteers have a special role in the church. In this case, not only did they brainstorm more ways to teach bringing Christ into the marriage, but also how to evangelize the faith. The new marriage classes, which began in May 2018, include mostly married couples as facilitators. These classes are hosted at Mother of God and St. Joseph and are broken into four consecutive weeks: Week 1 focuses on Communication; Week 2 on Expectations; Week 3 on Sexuality; and Week 4 on Faith. Father Pierre and other priests and deacons who have been trained rotate that last week. “If you have a solid prayer life and authentic relationship with God, hopefully that will lead you to have a more virtuous life together,” said Father Pierre. “Self-sacrifice is the foundation of a healthy marriage.” The ECRC marriage facilitators know one thing for sure– that every couple coming in wants their marriage to last forever. They do not shy away from sharing their own struggles. Some of those evangelizers are more religious-based and some of them Marriage classes hosted by ECRC. more practical, but they are all very relatable. Patrice Abona, the Executive Director of the ECRC, and her husband Emil, worked alongside her brother Father Pierre in augmenting these classes. They wish for couples to use what they have learned to keep Jesus at the center of their everyday lives. While everyone has a love story, everyone should also recognize that marriage is hard work. “We want these couples to know they are going to have difficult times in their marriages. It’s how you get through them,” Abona said. She also hopes this is a time for couples to reflect on who they are really marrying. Couples should ask themselves if they are really okay with a partner who is not spiritually grounded, she said. Not everybody starts off that way. Pelar Esshaki and his wife Laura checked off all the boxes when they got married in 2006; their class was a twohour meeting with a priest, and they went to church every Sunday. But they were not intimate with Jesus Christ. After about five years of marriage, they were pining for a more spiritual existence. They got more involved at their church and started going to Adoration. Both of them had a reversion to the Catholic faith – and now, Jesus is front and center. The Esshakis found the Church’s teaching on sexuality to be very powerful in their marriage, like God’s plan for fertility. “When you try to play God, it doesn’t work well,” Pelar avowed. “Each individual child is a gift from God.” They certainly practice what they preach. They have 10 children ranging from thirteen years old to a one-yearold. And another on the way! It was five years ago that the couple got into marriage ministry and are selftaught through the Catechism of the Catholic Church, learning from a multitude of speakers at retreats and online. They have mentored couples just by being themselves, “a happy Catholic couple” as Pelar describes, building relationships with other couples with a similar mindset. Their enthusiasm even led them to write a marriage retreat program. And when his cousin Patrice mentioned the ECRC should host a marriage retreat, he smiled widely and told her he was ready. He was also prepared to give the Week 3 talks at the marriage classes. While the positive feedback exceeded the ECRC’s expectations, some people think this portion of the four-week course is too personal and even inappropriate. Others said it has changed their lives. “It’s really how open people want to be at having a holy marriage,” Esshaki said. Father Pierre agrees. “Everyone is responsible for their own soul,” he said. “We can give you the tools and the talks, but you have to be open to learning and growing into a healthy marriage.” Father Pierre frankly asserts that a successful marriage preparation course is when about one-third of the participants do not complete the sacrament. “If you’re not ready to get married, don’t. If you realize you need to do better, walk away and you’ll thank yourself later,” he said. “The goal is a happy, healthy, and holy marriage. Don’t settle.” FEBRUARY 2022 CHALDEAN NEWS 29
