here comes BY LINDA
here comes BY LINDA JABORO Little girls all over the world dream about the day they will get married. They know exactly what they want: what color of the bridesmaids’ dresses, the type of flowers, even how they will fix their hair. All that’s missing from the picture is the groom. But once they find him, everything changes, because it is not only the woman who is getting married, it is the man as well. Planning a wedding can be quite an adventure, but it’s up to the bride and the groom to make it a pleasant or stressful one. “There are many different things to expect when planning a wedding like frustrations, being overwhelmed and the expense. But it can also be a fun experience at the same time,” said wedding planner Anita Mansour, owner of Ask Anita. 46 CHALDEAN NEWS FEBRUARY 2006
the bride It’s never too early to start planning FIRST THINGS FIRST Book! Book! Book that church and banquet hall. Many times couples get so overwhelmed with excitement over the engagement that they forget they aren’t the only ones getting married. “We called the hall the day after we got engaged and when we knew the date for the hall, we then called the church and booked it immediately,” said Renee Sesi, who is in the process of planning her wedding to Robert Shelide. Make sure the date you choose leaves gives you enough time to go through with all the planning that’s involved with a wedding. And don’t forget that in order to get married at any of the Chaldean churches, couples must take marriage classes, which take about four months to complete. MONEY TALKS Nowadays, weddings are becoming more extravagant than ever. With so many themes and ideas to choose from, couples are learning that in order to have a beautiful wedding without getting into money trouble, they must come up with a budget. “There should be a budget because you can still have your dream wedding and not get into debt,” said Mansour. Future bride Sesi agrees. “Thankfully we were able to stick to our budget,” she said. “Weddings can be so expensive and so elaborate that it’s important to shop around and know what you can afford to spend.” YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED... The guest list isn’t usually the most exciting aspect in wedding planning, but it is highly important. It makes things a lot easier when a couple knows how many are attending their wedding (or at least have a good estimate). Make sure that the parents of both the groom and bride provide some feedback on who they will be inviting. And remember, you probably won’t know half the people on the list, but just learn to accept it. HELP WANTED? Deciding on whether or not to hire a wedding planner is a major issue that needs to be addressed. There are so many items a planner can help with, and this is a major decision that needs to be determined as soon as the planning starts. “A wedding planner could be very involved or they can just do the day of the wedding, which means help organize the timing, give the bride some tips and help with the assigned seating,” Mansour said. “This all depends on the bride and what she is looking for. Most brides already know what they want and like, so sometimes my job is just to give my opinion and help her put things together. And if you have a bride who wants you to do everything, you are very involved from helping find the right florist to the cake, invitations, banquet hall, etc.” Another decision is whether the groom wants to participate in the wedding plans, something that is becoming more common these days. “The groom should be involved only if he feels that he could be an asset,” said wedding planner Lenne George. “I think it’s nice for the groom to be involved since they are starting a new life together. The bride and groom should share the planning,” Mansour said. Whether or not the groom actively participates, he should always remember that his say is just as important. “He was a good sport and participated when I asked him to, but we both found that he didn’t necessarily need to be involved in every detail such as what the cake looked like,” said Sesi. PARENTAL INPUT As couples become more modern, it can be hard to negotiate certain ideas with their parents. “Our families were involved when we asked for their advice, but for the most part we planned it ourselves. I think in the Chaldean community the trend is changing. Years ago, the mothers of the bride, and especially the groom, were very involved to the point of planning almost everything. Now it seems that brides and grooms are on their own to make most, if not all, of the arrangements,” said Sesi. Although parents don’t have to be involved with every aspect, they definitely deserve their share of the excitement. “These days the families are not very involved, but it is nice for the bride to show or ask her TIPS for the perfect wedding Wedding Planners Lenne George and Anita Mansour offer this advice for the perfect day: 1. Don’t fuss. 2. The most important thing is remembering the sacrament of marriage and not only the event itself. 3. Try not to be nervous; always smile and don’t let anything bother you because this is your big day. All the hard work and planning just flies by. 4. Don’t stress; hire a planner. in-laws-to-be their advice or opinion. I think it shows some respect if you let them get involved because weddings are very exciting for the parents too,” Mansour said. “Besides, since the groom or his family usually pay for the wedding they should know what is going on.” PLEASE BE SEATED With Chaldean weddings becoming larger and larger over the years, it is almost impossible to satisfy every guest at the wedding. Assigned seating has become very popular over the past few years, and with the guest lists going through the roof, it has also become mandatory. George not only advises assigned seating, he demands it. “It makes a party much more elegant when guests know where their seat is,” he said. Not only does assigned seating help initiate a nice flow and start for the wedding day, it helps by keeping things more structured. “I prefer assigned seating because it is just more organized. But I feel that it is the hardest thing to plan for because there is only some much space in the hall and not everyone can sit up front,” said Mansour. “Ninetynine percent of the time you will get a complaint.” Sesi suggests doing what makes the couple happy and not worrying about anything else. “I’ve learned that no matter what you do or how you plan or what you spend, somebody will always be unsatisfied,” she said. “So plan for yourselves and make sure you enjoy every moment of your wedding day.” FEBRUARY 2006 CHALDEAN NEWS 47
